Oh My!

I now just realized I have been a bad blogger!! I have been so busy with traveling, studying for finals, and everyday life, I have just seemed to have dropped a few things! First off, I am soooo happy my friend Sommer came to visit me, she is such an amazing person and I just feel blessed to know her! Like always she pointed out a few things I need to jump on in life! Next, I'm trying to find my Mom a birthday present and have no idea what to get her, her birthday is Sunday! any suggestions, let me know!! Third, I bought the Blind Side, yes it's my favorite!! Fourth, I need to buy a swimsuit ASAP!!!!

Time flies when your having fun!

        I think I may be one of the busiest people I know! Last week, I was cleaning, working out, going to class, catching up with homework, shopping, working, going to tan, doing laundry and everything in between! The girls came up this past weekend and like always, we had a blast! I just love them! I feel so blessed! I attended Ole Miss for a few years and found some incredible life long friends and when I came here to Alabama I found some as well.  I do have to say, my bama gals and I see more often because they are not all married yet and some are still taking college classes like me.  I just hate the fact they are taking these classes at other universities or they have jobs outside of Tuscaloosa. I cannot wait to finish it all up and move.  
         I thought I would share some before and after pic's of my new organized closet that took two days to accomplish!

        so you get the idea that it was MESSY!!  and just like magic here is the new organized, clean closet.............for now!

so now you understand why it took two days to complete!  It's been a long day and tomorrow my Dad is coming in town and I am sick so my bed is calling my name!

looking back...........

          The past few months I have been asking if I am on the right track in life. I have been second guessing if choices I am making and choices I have made in the past were correct.  Tonight I was proven that I know I made one decision right.  In my life, I have never felt so relieved and validated at the same time. 
           I will explain, I once was a girl that always had a level head, a huge unbroken heart, and an innocent naiveness.  I then started dating and it all changed.   I had dated a few boys here and there but when I fell in love I fell hard.  I learned what my own tears tasted like, I learned how to absolutely love someone unconditionally with all my heart and never have an ounce of that given back, I learned how someone could look me in the eye and lie to me.  I thought I could change the bad in him, I thought it didn't matter how much my feelings would get hurt, I went as far as not worrying about myself and only about him. I slowly began losing myself. I was no longer the girl that never gave a boy a chance; I was now giving 8th and 39th chances. I was no longer  the same girl who never backed down whether it be a tennis court or jumping off a cliff ......that girl somehow got lost.   
           I think back now and it's funny how one person can affect the rest of your life, and it can be for the worst or the best. In my case it was the worst.  I knew this relationship was toxic and I stayed in it for the same reasons I want to change people's life for the better.  I finally learned you can't help someone when they have no drive within themselves to want to change.
            After a lot of fights, a lot of time, a lot of tears and a few good times it all came crashing to an end. I didn't want it to end the way it did but as they say "when push came to shove" I had to just give up. After the final straw had been placed on my back, I knew he had broken me.  I was in shock for about a day but when the shock was over, the realization set in and I was angry, depressed, relieved, confused, and a mess.  I couldn't sleep for months. I suffered from night sweats, and nightmares.  I would wake up and immediately throw-up. I would cry all the time and after the normal time your friends give you after a break up had run out, I would close everyone out and just sit and cry all by myself. I lost about fifteen pounds from just not wanting anything to eat. Thankfully I had friends during my "dark ages" to pick me up because there were times I couldn't do it.  My parents were supportive but it was more "you're just going to have to get over it."  They knew I would find myself again in time. In the mean time I use to pray to God to make the pain go away and just pull my heart out.
             In time I started realizing I am still standing. I'm still breathing. I'm still here.When I felt like my world was ending.......... it was, that world with him ended, but I wasn't ending, I was right there.  See, that world did crash down in flames but my life didn't.  I then started thinking maybe that pain I am suffering from is a good thing, it means I still can feel.  I thought maybe every tear I cried was actually one drop of pain I didn't have to carry around.  I slowly but surely learned how to cope and that within itself was a small victory.  I started going out on dates with other boys to occupy time but I kept my distance.  I now look back and kick myself for not ending it or him ending it, for the FINAL time earlier. I do however have to thank him for a few things I learned along the way and thank him for the person I am today.  I have to thank him for teaching me how to detect when a boy is cheating on me. I have to thank him for teaching me how strong I really am. I finally have to thank him for not calling me or wanting anything to ever do with me after we had our final break up.  I know I will never be the same girl I was before he damaged me but isn't that what people do in life?  We all damage someone at one point or another, it's just if you can mold the bad into a stepping stone to get to the good, Right?
               

So, So Much Monday!

Oh, Good Monday Morning my little ones! Yes, I always wake up early! Anyway ya'll are in for a treat! I have decided to show you some wonderful things, like my NEW room!! yea, I know ya'll are sooooo excited! I thought first ya'll would like to know how my room looks for Fall and Winter.

(sorry for the sideways ones) so this is how my room is for Fall and Winter, you can see I use colors that are very mute.  I also need to purchase 2 brown pillow shams because my beige ones that are not pictured got ruined in a load of darks in the washing machine!
       There are a couple of reasons why I change for the different seasons.  The first reason is I grow tired of the same old, same old.  Don't get me wrong I absolutely love this duvet cover and the dark iron and the mixture of brown, black, beige and burgundy, but during the summer months I like the lighter side of things.  The second reason I like to change it out is mainly on the bedding situation.  In Alabama the Spring, Summer, and even some of the Fall months are so HOT!! I like the heat and everything but the power bill is so high during these months and if I kept the down comforter around at night I'm sure I would die of a heat stroke. Last Spring I asked my mom if she would purchase me a quilt so I could cut down on the power bill and of course she did : ) .  I used a quilt and stuff last year and the colors were mauve and white.  I thought it was pretty but matching stuff with it became impossible and the style was not exactly my first choice but I dealt with it just fine. 
       We now forward to this year. My mom and I were shopping around trying harder than last year to pair the bedding with everything. Long story short, all decor I really liked just didn't match the pattern of the quilt........Mom's solution: BUY A NEW QUILT! I explained to her that I had a bet with some friends of how much I would spend on re-decorating my room for the season.  Mom's solution: Give her my old quilt because she wants to re-decorate my room at home.  If you take away the quilt situation then I have spent $ 61.87.  This is my room now!

So, some of this was my Easter present......but I'm still adding it to the amount I said above!  Mom and I thought of covering plain canvas's with material I like because I couldn't find anything for my walls, I also moved the light bordered mirror I had in the dining room to my room. My previous roommate left that behind (thanks Em!!) My mom made the night stand cover and the pillow on the bed.  When I get the time I'm using some of the material left over to go on a lamp that is on the night stand.  The chair to my desk I covered!! The part you lean on I am going to have to come up with a crafty way to cover because I can't use this material with my Fall and winter decor.  I got the curtains from T.J. Maxx for $7.99 a panel, yes, I lucked up!! I also got a WHITE BED SKIRT, I have been looking for a reasonably priced one and never found one last year, but this year I found one.  Mom and I found it at Wal-Mart of all places, and on clearance for $1.50. That price is not a typo.......I couldn't believe it!  The blue floating shelf, I got from my Mom, who was about to toss to Good Will.  The picture above is one of my favorites, I used left over material and covered the back of the frame and placed a pic of Mom and me when I was LITTLE!! It's absolutely our personalities beaming out of the captured moment and plus I love the beach! My Mom: holding me on a leash, making sure I don't run into the crashing waves (watching out for me) and me: TALKING and on a leash because I have such a high spirit and always wanting to just jump into the water head first! I promise I'm not leaving my good ol' Dad out, he has a picture on my desk, it's of us the day I graduated high school!
       All of the materials, canvas's,and picture frames were bought at Hobby Lobby and the quilt from T.J. MAXX! As far as home decor goes, I could live at T.J. Maxx, Hobby Lobby, and Kirklands. 


here are some pics of some dresses I want insanely bad for summer! you have no idea how much I love clothes and dressing up! I love high heels, dresses, purses, and jewelry! Fashion is my passion and I hate that I'm trying to change the way I look at material and thread and the way I purchase clothes. I know it's for the better and  everything but I just have such good taste and so many people out there don't! It's like a waste! Anyway MODCLOTH is a store online that I just love!!! I mean I want this girls job kinda love! The only bad thing about this site is that they sell out of a dress in about 3 days sometimes and the fact they don't tell you who designed the article of clothing so you can't look it up online, other than those 2 rants it's pretty awesome!! The one with carmine paisley salmon and white print dress, that also has the mandarin collar and a-line bottom with a few pleats............I could seriously love with all my heart......of course it's sold out, and I looked on the internet for 3 hours yesterday for it.....NO LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

however I really am thinking of getting the smock navy blue dress with a plaid ribbon-ed button down collar. It's $52.00 and so calling my name to buy it from that warehouse with all those other gorgeous dresses. I really hope in life I have a job with Clinton on  "what not to wear." 

 

I'm bored!

Okay so It's Saturday night and I am home doing absolutely nothing! I have however been quite busy today but all in all a great Saturday! So like I have said in previous posts, I am trying soooo incredibly hard not to spend money.........I should say my parents spending money on me! I really want to stop spending money on objects and spend money on experience. I have found this incredibly hard since I adore objects and love them sooo much!! I now find it a huge tease whenever walking through a department store! My mom and I went shopping today and I wanted a purse sooo bad but I wasn't about to let my mother spend almost a hundred dollars on this incredibly amazing Spring/Summer bag! I know a hundred is really not all that bad but like I said I'm really trying to not use their hard earned money on such things, but this is the little pretty I have had my eye on for about a month or so

yes, Jessica Simpson knew she made a sweet decision when asked by some of her designing crew if she wanted her name on this cutie, maybe that is why she called it her "Sweetness bag" I also have LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the bag in her Daisy yellow color! I have been wanting for 2 years a yellow purse! But me trying to stay practical and think of what my wardrobe would match with it, I may have to go with the above color.  Miss Jessica also makes a clutch that is made with this floral print and it runs about $45.  I have yet to see the clutch in a store but her website offers it. 

Have I also mentioned A-day is next Saturday and I have yet to decide on a cute sundress number? I am so ready to see my friends and for them to visit, and the next weekend I may or may not be going to the beach......it just depends if a few things fall into place! Tomorrow starts back my stricter diet, I am now forced to think of wearing a two piece in front of people so it looks like the gym, magical creams to get rid of cellulite under my booty and no carbs......isn't life fair? I also am going to the beach the very begining of June for a week with my mom and her sisters so it looks like I will be saving every dime for that if shopping the COACH, POLO, and BANANA REPUBLIC outlets are what I want to do! Did I also mention how much I would love some Wayfarers? yea I know, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT.  Give me some slack, I was just shopping in stores today, it's still all so fresh on my mind. What kind of Spring/Summer purses are ya'll carrying this year?

I'm so Ready! and

      I have said time and time again that Summer is my favorite season!! I get so excited thinking about playing tennis, laying on a beach, laying by the pool, attending baseball games, trips to the lake, fishing, having cook-outs, sun dresses, and gorgeous sunsets! I can only think of 3 things I dislike about Summer, Mosquitoes, the horrid heat (sweating when I'm dressed up, Eeeewww) and that the season doesn't last longer! I'm just so ready for all the fun to start!
      I'm also ready for 2 movies to come out!! I AM PUMPED!!

and of course the movie every girl is anticipating..........thats right plan for a girl's night now complete with dressing up, dining, and after the movie a fun night sipping martini's and cosmo's!!

     

Eat, Pray, and Love looks so good! I have always wanted to just kind of drop everything that is going on in life and just live. I'm talking enjoying food and not thinking of how many hours on the eliptical I am going to have to work to take it off, I'm talking enjoying and not regretting.  I want to travel for about 2 years and do nothing but experience LIFE. I want to do this while I'm young and still making life changing decisions.  My mother has always said to me "Do everything you have ever wanted to do before you get married and have children." The older I get, the more and more I realize this statement is so incredibly true. 

 

 I think back to what my parents have taught me and the lessons I have learned on my own (it seems those are the ones I cherish the most) and I feel that you can't make anyone happy until you are happy with yourself.  I also feel that you can't settle down with someone until you are through chasing after everything you want. 

       That said, I hope everyone enjoys the weekend! I know I will be working out, laying by the pool, reading "Eat, Pray, Love," and .................

getting in the grind

Sorry guys and gals, it's almost been a week since ya'll have gotten an update but this little bee has been BUSY!! I hope everyone had a fabulous Easter. I went home to my family on friday after classes and spent the entire weekend with them, then had to drive back yesterday afternoon and unload my car, work out,  decorate my room for spring and summer ( can't wait to post pictures!)

I'm hoping these next few weeks fly by fast, I'm sick of school!  I'm also not so happy with the pollen, my dad washed my car yesterday and by 10 30 a.m. this morning my car was yellow........it's usually white! It's so pretty outside and warm all I want to do is lay out! maybe this weekend I will get a chance? however, its bathing suit season and I am not to my goal and the stair master machiney thing and crunches only become harder and harder to face every morning! Any plastic surgeons out there want some pro-bono work?