We're a FOUR no MORE

  In the past 4 months I have noticed something about myself that has me on edge. This time last year I was wearing my smallest jeans comfortably. A size 4 from EXPRESS. Actually one of my favorite pairs of jeans and I can barely button them now. Two years ago I was wearing a size small in the Nike Tempo Shorts and Now that has changed into a size MEDIUM. For a girl that has always been self conscience about weight and size, I sure am folding. At 26 my body is just not what it was 3 and 4 years ago. I know it's a little shallow thinking but I'm a girl so I think I get a pass!haha
  In High School I was always really average. I played tennis year around, so I was always pretty fit. I mean my favorite thing to do, was to seriously run stadiums. Also, In high school I always thought I was bigger, but looking back, I had NO IDEA!
 I had a freak out moment the Summer I graduated and was about to move off for college. That summer I was running up to fourteen miles a day and seriously would barely eat. I knew I was going off to Ole Miss and was going to go through Rush and so I wanted to look my best.......I just went a tad overboard. I can remember the moment I realized I had a problem.....About two weeks before I moved off for college I was running in probably 95 degree heat around the track at my high school.  This particular morning as I was running my legs began to shake and I began seeing black spots in the sky. The next thing I knew I came to laying on the track with a skinned up knee. I walked back to my car and started thinking I might have a problem. To give you an idea, the day I moved into the dorms I could slide off my size 4 Abercrombie and Fitch shorts without unbuttoning or unzipping them, I also had to wear a belt or they would slide off if I just moved slightly. I think after those 3 months I shot my metabolism!
  When Rush was over, let's say I didn't have a problem anymore! By Sophomore year I was at my heaviest. I was not working out nor playing tennis and I was drinking Keg beer and eating Chicken on a stick way too much. I am too embarrassed to tell you what size I was........but let's say it was in the double digits.
 Now, let me say this real quick. I don't think girls that are in double digits are fat or anything like that. I am just saying for ME it was extremely unhealthy. It is not in my genetics to be heavy set. Neither of my parents are heavy, most of their family is not either. Trust me, I judge myself far more than I have ever judged anyone else!
Between my time from Ole Miss to Alabama I went on a HUGE diet and got on some appetite suppressant pills. I went from double digits to a size small 4 in just months. That is probably the best I looked and probably the best I felt about myself. I maintained that size for close to year or more. Then I got on birth control pills and went up to about a 6......went off birth control pills and went down to a 4.......Broke up with college boyfriend at the beginning of 08' and dropped down to a size 2........... Got over breaking up with college boyfriend went back up to a size 4/6. Went on birth control pills again the late spring/early Summer of 08' and gained about 3 dress sizes in the course of a month.......went off birth control pills and got back down to a 4/6. As you can tell a LOT of yo-yo'ing as far as weight goes.
The last time I have been on appetite suppressant pills was over the Summer......The last time I could wear my favorite jeans.
I just recently bought size 6 jeans......all of mine for the past two years have been size 4's........I am not a size FOUR no More!
Again, I know it's shallow, but to someone that has a BAD body image problem it's the worst! I rarely look in the mirror and like what I see. What I see and what others see are two different things. In all honesty I am my own worst enemy. Somehow I have always been able to hide that from most people. I always keep my confidence up but it's something I secretly disguise. I think my mom knows and that is about it, and well everyone that reads this now!haha.

I have almost grown tired of the struggle. It's exhausting. Part of me thinks "I have to keep killing myself to be my smallest because I'm single," and the other half thinks, "What is one dress size really going to affect?" I am always the girl that will extreme diet for a wedding, a cocktail, or a get together where I haven't seen people in a while. I mean there is rarely a day that passes that I don't think about my size. So I am a having a war with myself and at the end of the day, I'm just left feeling disappointed. Since early Fall I have noticed I haven't been going out as much as usual and part of that is, I know I have gone up a size, and as much as I work out, it's not coming off, IT'S FRUSTRATING!!!! People with major eating problems understand this.....other people, are probably going to think I need to be strapped into a white jacket. I know it's crazy but I feel more in control and confident when the size on my dresses say size 6 or my jeans say 4 or my tops say SIZE SMALL. I want nothing more but to go back on the pills. I mean I have all these great winter sweaters and tops and I barely can fit in them. It's not fair!!Now, I know what  most of you are thinking, It's a great excuse to shop, but you're wrong! I cannot afford a new wardrobe and honestly I have this thing where I will not buy something if it says like a size 10. (unless i know it's sized wrong) It's physically, emotionally, and psychologically draining! I can't get on the pills right now because the doctor that prescribes them to me is out on leave.

I absolutely hate shopping for swim suits because it's so hard to find one that doesn't cause me to bulge out everywhere! MOM: IF YOUR READING THIS YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP RIGHT NOW!!! (Remember I am trying to be more myself here!!) hahaha!!  But I hate to think what past boyfriends have thought of my body.  I mean I had meanie undergrad ex boyfriend point out stretch marks on my thigh/booty one time. I wanted to dive into a cave. I hate to even sit on a guy's lap while he is sitting in a chair because I think I would DIE if the chair broke or something. I hate to even be picked up by a guy. I mean if I judged the guys I dated by the standards I judged myself, I would date NO ONE!!! Thank the LORD I have always been more attracted to a guy's personality rather than looks. It's so weird but I rarely judge guys by looks, but yet It's the first thing I judge on myself.

I'm sure for you 3 or 4 I have just wasted your time, but I have to vent somewhere guys!!lol!!Do any of you think like this?

Football with Thanksgiving and Christmas Thrown In!

Hey Ya'll!

So a lot has been happening and Blogging has fallen short on my To-Do lists. If you don't know me, I'm huge on To-Do lists! I can't live without them.
Another thing falling short on my To-Do list is working out. I am so disappointed in myself! Since my ankle injury I have not been too excited about running and stuff. I haven't been able to wear heels in about a month and it's KILLING me!! Most of my wardrobe and going out clothes revolve around 3 inch beautiful, painful heels.  I go to my orthopedic doctor Friday for a follow up. The last time I was there they found a small bone that was chipped. 

I am also headed home this weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving! I convinced my family that we should have Thanksgiving dinner this weekend since the BIGGEST game of the year is being played in Tuscaloosa the day after Thanksgiving! I have several girls coming up on Thanksgiving afternoon/ night and spending the night so we can enjoy the game on Friday! Pray for us! I also have someone coming in on Wednesday that I am excited to see and we have some plans arranged.

I am so excited to put up my Christmas Tree! I'm either putting it up next Wednesday or Thursday and I might have help! I am so excited! I love watching Christmas movies (especially, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, and Elf) while decorating and sipping my favorite red wine! My 2 absolute favorite Christmas movies are It's a Wonderful life and  How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I know Christmas movies can be cheesy and annoying but for the most part, I love feeling like a kid. I love curling up on the couch with a classic and a glass of milk and Oreo's. I love a crisp cold nights staring at the lights on the tree. I love wrapping presents, I decorate them so well!
I hope ya'll have a great weekend!

Update

Hello my lovely bloggers!

I really don't have anything new at this time in my life. So I will update you on what has been going on. This past weekend Alabama played Mississippi State at home.Friday night, I helped throw a surprise party for a good guy friend of mine. Then I met up with a guy that came into town for the game. Friday night was really fun.

Then........Saturday happened! My BFF Emily and her husband came to town to see me. We had a blast, it was definitely an upside to the most dramatic game day this season. I was soooo excited to hang out with her! Now on to the dramatic part. I really only have AT&T, Alcohol and a lost phone to thank for the most of the drama......actually I can place all the drama on those three things. I was suppose to meet up with a person but  "person" got a little too hammered and lost their phone. The phones were a wreck on Saturday. It took me forever to just get a connection. When it was all said done, I ended up having a pretty good time with great people.

Sunday rolled around and I still had not heard from "person". Late that afternoon  I get a facebook message from "person" explaining they lost their phone and apologized......I just didn't know what to think and how to answer because I was extremely P.O.'ed.

Monday morning rolled around and I got another message apologizing, mind you I am still upset.

Tuesday morning rolls around and I felt I had to just explain why I was so upset. By Tuesday night and after a talk on the phone the issue is now resolved...well somewhat.

I'm still hesitant about "person". I know we all mess up, we all mistakes, we take things for granted at times and sometimes don't appreciate what is right in front of us. I just didn't think "person" would do most of these things in the span of a day. So the looks of everything we're just going to take it slowly and see how things work out.

On a different note I cannot kick this sinus thing I have had going on for almost two weeks! I have another doctor's appointment Friday for my ankle. I have not worn heels since I sprained it and it has been a CHALLENGE!! Most of my clothes revolve around heels so it's been somewhat difficult.

I am also looking forward to putting up my Christmas tree! The weather outside is frightful. It's not looking like a winter wonderland anytime soon here in the south. At the rate things are going I may can lay out during Christmas

My Weekly Obsessions!

I started looking back at my posts and realized I become obsessed with something way too easily. Maybe I am just an easy going person who enjoys the simple things in life or maybe I just have good taste........I am going with the later!

My weekly obsessions you should become obsessed with too!

1. SON'S of ANARCHY

 Over a 2 day span I watched the whole second season! (Don't worry Mom, I have been keeping up my studies!) The third season is what is on FX right now. It's soo fascinating!! I am going to try and watch the first season in the next week or so! Trust me, watch about 2 episodes and you will be hooked!

2. Boyfriends! No, not the boyfriend you're thinking of! I'm talking Boyfriend Blazer's and Boyfriend Cardigan's!

I find both of these looks perfect for my body! The longer the length, the longer I appear. I find these just as comfortable as  a real Boyfriend at the moment! ha!

3. Ray Ban's
I am in love with the Wayfarer and the Jackie OH's

I want. I want. I NEED!!!

I guess that is all for the moment! I am looking forward to seeing my former roommate and my BFF Emily this weekend! She is coming up for the game on Saturday. I also have someone else coming up for the weekend that I am also excited about seeing!

This weekend will also hold a monumental occasion in my life. Since I was 13 years old I have been attending Ole Miss football games. Everyone knows all Ole Miss sorority girls dress up for games. At 15 years old I knew I was destined for the Ole Miss Sorority Life, therefore I started dressing up for every game! I would wear skirts, dresses, dress pants. When I became an Ole Miss Sorority girl, I would deck out in heels and pearls every Saturday........When I transferred to Alabama I continued this tradition. I have NEVER worn jeans to a game before! This weekend I will wear jeans to the game.....with an Alabama jersey. Ya'll, Hell just froze over!
This look of girls wearing jerseys with jeans tucked into their boots has become a fad here lately on game day. Some friends of mine and I decided we would join that fad. I am actually worried about doing this, it's kinda giving me anxiety about NOT worrying what I will wear. Does that make sense? I mean my wallet can't take me buying a new dress for every game. Some of those dresses I will never wear again! So I'm taking the drama out of it. Wow, I can't believe myself!

Please Cheer on the Tide this Weekend and Ole Miss! both teams need all the help we can get! Roll Tide and Hotty Toddy! Love ya'll!

Sick and Cranky is not Appealing

Kleenex, Medicine, Sneezing, Sickness......just a few things I'm tired of!  Football, Working-out, Date Night, Not Being Sick........things I'm looking forward to!

How is this for a diet?

This is all I had yesterday and while it was yummy I started realizing I have NO groceries!!!  MOM, I desperately need you to come to town and help out your favorite college student and buy me some groceries!!! I am Broke!!!

Which comes to my next point: I am tired of being a broke college student!! I have started realizing guys have it MADE!!! I have to pay so much a month just to keep up the beauty routine! I pay for tanning, laser treatments, waxes, make-up, hair products, gym membership, skin care products.........and ya'll this is monthly!! Geeze I should look like a model with all my parents are shelling out!! Needless to say, being sick has made me frustrated!

Not to mention doctors co-pay, medicine.........DUDE!! I now realize why girls never have money and why guys should always pay for dinner, drinks, and entertainment!!!hahahahaha, but seriously!

Some other things:
New show to watch.........The League. It's on FX. 

It's a total guys show, but then again I usually like guys humor.

And yes, I mentioned before 'Date Night'........yes, this chick has a date Friday night, if I'm better! I talked to him tonight and told him I was sick but hope to better by Friday. I will let ya'll know how it goes!

Sick and Shopping, but NOT Sick of Shopping!

I am alive, BARELY, but I'm alive! So I suffer from a Halloween curse, I'm not joking! I get sick about every Halloween. I thought I was going to skip it this year......then last Thursday morning I woke up and my throat hurt and I was all stuffy. I did not dodge the Halloween curse this year, however I did celebrate with my bestest Som-Som.  I didn't have class last Thursday or Friday due to class cancellations and Fall break so I headed home for a day of shopping!! This is the first time in a while I have not been on any appetite pills in a while. Lets just say I can tell a difference, I have always been a size 4-6 in most jeans and dresses, now I starting seeing myself in a size 6-8. I am not HAPPY about that size 8. However both of the jeans below are a size 6.....I'm just use to wearing a size 4 in these particular brands.

That is right! My Mommy bought me the Steve Madden boots that I have been 'MAD' over for the past year!! She also got me the rest of the clothes! I wore the boots on Saturday and didn't want to take them off! I will say I was slightly disappointed when I tried them on......I thought they would be darker, then Mom knowing everything told me since they are real leather the boots will get darker with age! SCORE!!

As far as my life is going, this is how I feel about my love life......he is so hot then he gets ice cold.

Hot N Cold

Katy Perry | Myspace Music Videos

I just looked at the weather this week.......FALL is finally arriving! This weekend I plan switch out my closets from Spring/Summer to Fall/Winter! I also plan to switch from my quilt to my down comforter! I am so excited, I get a change!

A band I'm totally obsessing over right now: Mumford & Son's!!






I kinda just stumbled across this band. A sorority sister of mine spent some time in Scotland about 2 month ago, they are all the rage over there.......then I mentioned them to some friends here and very few have heard about them but the one's who have are in LOVE!!! The lyrics, the writing is just so deeply incredible. The vision this band has is nothing else out there right now! I can honestly say this band and Vampire Weekend might be the only music that has been made in the last 5 to 10 years I'm just blown away with. I'm very curious to see what the future holds for them.

Can i just say how pitiful I am when I am sick!?  I want nothing but to curl up on the couch, watch fun movies, and I want my momma! I am such a baby! I first and foremost want my mom then it goes to whoever will take care of me! haha!  Even Bro picks up on it. Let's just say last year he had to go out in the middle of the night and get me popsicles!! All I have to say is Good Luck to my future husband! I swear I can take some physical pain but being sick is not up my alley!

I hope this week goes by fast, please hope that I get better!

I exhaled!

Warning: this post is very scattered!

So when I just thought everything was going well, I took a breath. I sprained my ankle last Friday night and had a swollen, bruised, painful ankle all day on Saturday. To remind you, Saturday was the showdown between Bama and Ole Miss. I walked around ALL day and night in cowboy boots.......at least they were cute and actually didn't feel too bad.  However Sunday morning, it was hard to take my boot off with the sleeve brace I had on. Now that I have an air cast on for a week, it looks like no working out for me! This...... could be the death of me

This weekend it looks like I might spend my time at a Hunting/Camp House or the Lake House with a couple of friends. I think were going to watch the games on Saturday and grill out! YAY!!

It is now the middle/late of October and it feels like June, I am so NOT happy about this! I love Summer and all, but the clothing choices for Fall and the temperature outside are NOT matching!! GRRRR!!!

I would like to quote Ms. Meredith Grey yet again.
"My point is this... Whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the WORST feeling in the world."
I believe this quote would sum up one aspect of my life. Not knowing is the worst, actually setting yourself up for pain might be the worst. Either way, I'm totally confused. I should know more than anyone, you can't change another person's will. I should have left things alone and I didn't. Back to friends we go!!

There is no word on what I will be for Halloween this year, and yes, it's like in 10 days. Can I just say that I'm really not in the mood this year? It's very unlike me. In fact, It's down right weird. I am going to blame the weather and the lack of Halloween festivities.

Some things I'm loving at the moment!

yes, I may just be obsessed with this show, I mean I love a good mystery! I love reading people! How have I missed this show in the Past?

 I have two words: COCONUT DREAMS! I am cursing my evil mother for introducing these to me. They taste just like Girl Scout cookies! I mean I'm trying to fit into all my jeans comfortably and these might prevent me from doing that!

Oh, you didn't think I could leave out my boys could you? Cole Hamels, Chase Utley, David Robertson, Brett Gardner, Nick Swisher, Phil Hughes..........In case your not as baseball boy crazy as I am, those are all players from my favorite two teams......Phillies and the Yankees. I'm an ever so popular southern girl during baseball season........NOT!! However I do get kudos points for watching and knowing about baseball!

I am straight up obsessed with these boots! Steve Madden had them in the Fall line last year as well as this year! They are called the Intyce Boots. I want this pair. In this color. In a size 8. Anyone that is reading this and wants me to melt in front of them, should buy me a pair of these.

Since my social and love life have been on the rocks lately, I have found myself with a lot of pent up energy that is very negative. What do i do when i have negative energy? Listen to music and work out......I'm ALWAYS obsessed with this though!!!It looks like it may be Friday or Saturday before I can even power walk, but I'm pretty sure I will power walk my legs off the first chance I get! What will I be listening to?
1. Kashmir-Zepplin
2. Voodoo Child-Jimi Hendrix Experience
3. Psycho Killer- Talking heads
4. Sympathy for the Devil-Rolling Stones
5. You Oughta know- Alanis Morissette

SUSHI!!!! I have been CRAVING it almost all the time!!! Anyone want to take me on a date for Sushi, Sake, and Sports?

Don't feel too sorry for me, ya'll forget I now have acquired a bounce factor of a trampoline, plus this IS me to a "T"



Hope y'all have a great rest of the week!!MUAH!!!

quoting the day

Hey ya'll I promise I'm still here, just sooooo busy! So things are going very well in my life, so much that I'm afraid to take a breath! Not so many Fall moons ago I can remember a time when Thursday nights were dedicated to my girls getting ready at my apartment while watching the drama of Grey's Anatomy unfold. We would sip wine, watch t.v, try on each others clothes, and gossip before heading to "The Booth"........it was truly an amazing time in my life!lol!!

In honor of good times with better people and the better season's of the show, I'm dedicating this whole post of quotes from Grey's Anatomy! Enjoy!

Dr. Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

Dr. Meredith Grey: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Dr. Meredith Grey: I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

Dr. Meredith Grey: Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Pick *me*. Choose *me*. Love *me*.

I will always miss those Thursday nights!

all of these quotes just makes me want to dust off the first season on DVD and watch them ASAP.......hmm sounds like I just planned my Sunday afternoon.......well before I watch my Sunday Night shows with a guy friend of mine! 

"You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore." Dr. Meredith Grey

I chose not place this quote with the others because it's not uplifting, it's not profound, it's just true. I have always loved "I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke." I think the writers they had the first two season's could be my best friends I haven't met yet!

Come Together!

October is "Save the Ta-Ta's" month! That is right, Breast Cancer Awareness is here and is in full swing, so spread the word, the knowledge and the power to beat breast cancer!

On a different note October is going to be hectic month for me! I have more than I can handle so don't be surprised if you don't hear from hear me that much! I have a few Mid-terms, Flag Football, Co-ed Softball, Homecoming, Working out, Halloween, and some other things I'm juggling that are taking up my time! Speaking of working out......anyone know of any arm exercises? I mean good ones to slender the arm, not bulk up.

I also have a hilarious story for you all......I don't mean to give off too much information  here but it is quite funny.

So last week I decided I wanted a Brazilian wax.........if you don't know what that is, google it. I was mortified by thinking a stranger would do this so I went to Sally Beauty Supply and tried to this myself.......Never in my life have I felt the pain I did!! After 2 or 3 shots of Bourbon I tried to some more......I decided that is one area of my body I could not do!!haha! I called and made an appointment at a Day Spa that is known to do a good job....last Friday the job was complete and not near the amount of pain! I have never been so embarrassed though! But overall I am extremely happy I did this, and have booked another appt for later in the month!

I know some of you are wondering what I have been so secretive about and as much as I would love to tell you but I can't! Everything is working out good, not exactly the way I want nor the speed I want things to progress at, however if I have learned anything, it is all good things come with patience. I just hope I'm not setting myself up for a major fall!

Hoping, Wishing, Waiting

I think all I do is hope, wish and wait. I'm waiting for the next chapter of my life to start. I'm wishing that I wouldn't make some of the decisions I make. I'm hoping that what I'm doing right now sets my life up the way I want it to be. I'm hoping the decisions I might make in the next few days do not leave me wishing I had made others. I just hope I don't do anything to wreck what could potentially be a good thing for me. It looks like I gotta have a little faith.


So this might be my only post this week! I have some of the girls coming up for the Florida game. I have so much to do before Friday! I have one person who is suppose to arrive early Friday, so my apartment and cooking will have to be finished Thursday night! I'm sooooo excited to see everyone! I have probably the most awesome outfit to wear Friday night, I'm super excited! Saturday is a little different because the weather is going to be so unpredictable. I ordered a dress that I don't think I can wear on Saturday.......ugh, wasted money! I am back to ground zero as far as game day is concerned! NEED HELP!!! anyway, I'm curious to see how the weekend goes, and it has nothing to do with the outcome of the game! anyway pray everything goes in my favor!  I hope everyone has an awesome week and weekend!

Roll Tide and when your praying for me, could you add Ole Miss in there too? Hotty Toddy!

Randomness

I am keeping this short and sweet, just like me!
 Here are a few things I'm looking forward to!




AND



What can I say?
I am also looking forward to seeing the Atlanta falcons take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on November 7th! I am at least pretty sure I am going!haha!

I am also looking forward to decorating my apartment for Halloween this weekend! Even if the temperature outside reminds me of late July........I still am going to decorate! Now, I have to start some serious thinking on a costume!!! Did I also mention that the new season of "The office" starts Thursday night?

The Times They Are a-Changing

Are there words that can really capture this man's skill level and aptitude? Mr. Bob Dylan has always played in a league of his own. An activist, writer, singer, and icon are just lowly words to describe him. He really moved a nation forward in it's time of chaos and anarchy. The man behind the ray bans helped change the way music is played.

Bob Dylan was born Robert Zimmerman and was born with natural talent. I would love to just talk to this man one day, Like most of his talented musician friends, he appears to be scattered with his thoughts, it's only by singing his songs that his thoughts are made clear.



Blowin in the Wind, Hurricane, Like a Rolling Stone are just a few of his highly acclaimed singles that I also enjoy. Bob Dylan also has a son named Jakob Dylan who is also an artist that was in a group called The Wallflowers.

Every time I hear Bob Dylan I instantly think of RESPECT, I mean the man is just a genius, way before his time!


I leave you with this, Mom if you're reading this I want this DVD for Christmas, PLEASE!!!!!

Grow up!

Okay, I wasn't even going to post anything today and then the more I thought about something, the more I have to get it off my chest!

I am a little irritated that I go out of my way to be nice to someone just to have them be rude! I was driving today and let someone cut in front of me to let them into my lane......then they would not hurry up!!! they were driving like Miss Daisy and the people behind me were honking their horns at me/people who cannot take a right turn into traffic. The people I then allowed to let into my lane rolled down their window and screamed at me! RUDE!!!! Like I just let you cut into my lane, you psychotic people!!!

I then had a conversation with someone I no longer talk too and so I went out of my way to talk to them, you know friendly Bullsh*t chit chat, the end of the conversation was too extremely rude! I mean what is with people these past 2 days!

Maybe I put on an act of caring about people way too much. I for the most part really don't care what other people are doing in life......hence I have no idea why i blog other than it's a way of me releasing what I can't say out loud but if you are not involved in my life then I just plain don't care. Last weekend I was out and about and ran into a girl that has a boyfriend that use to be friends with mine and I told the girl how great she looked and I loved her dress......all I got was a strange look and a not so endearing "thank you" again............what is wrong with people? I mean I really didn't like the girls dress at all, it was not so cute but I still gave her a compliment, it was the nice thing to do!

Then again I have people that come up to me and are so extremely nice that probably shouldn't be to me. I just don't get it? Even if I hate the other person, if we make eye contact I always say "Hello, how are you?" I secretly don't care but it's a nice gesture. I would hate for someone to go back and say "Ugh, I hate Tasha and she was soooo rude, she didn't even acknowledge me."  I mean there is a thing called "Killing with Kindness" and let's just say I murder!!hahahaha!

anyway, have a great weekend you pretty people!! and I really mean it!!hahahaha

Am I wired wrong?

Okay, so here I am spilling all my secrets......to the world, okay let me rephrase that to you 3 or 4 people that read my blog. I am still spilling my guts, it's been one of those kind of days.

I am not a team player. My favorite sport to play is tennis, and I hate playing doubles. I love to run, by myself. I am not a "we" kind of person. When I was a little girl while all my friends would play "Wedding"  and placing a white sheet around them as their wedding dress, I would be running around with the white sheet over my head and running into walls. I mentally cannot wrap my brain around even thinking of being in a long term relationship again. Maybe because getting into the long term relationship would mean I would have to go through dating again. We all know about those first dates.......the awkward silence during dinner, always having to wear make up, the conversations through text messages because boys don't know how to communicate other wise, the extremely weird/scary things they tell you sometimes.

Am I wired wrong? Every single one of my friends are looking for that special someone. I am looking on how to escape my routine life. They are getting married, I am getting home when the bars close. I am going on dates that I know have no chance and my friends are having date nights with other couples. I am not writing this because I am complaining............okay I am complaining but when do you realize you may or may not be cut out for 'the couple life.'

In the game of tennis Love does mean nothing, how weird tennis would be the sport I take up.

Fall into something GREAT!

Fall is just around the corner and unfortunately Tuscaloosa has not gotten the memo just yet! I keep getting all of these magazines and fliers in the mail with Fall clothes on the cover. I need Fall to start now!! I love Summer, it's my favorite but It's really hard to keep my clothes in season when the highs everyday are in the 90's. It's a fashion dilemma!

However maybe in the next 3 or 4 weeks I can start transitioning my closet.......just a little! here are some looks I'm digging and I can't wait to wear!

  I just love Fall!

I love big purses, scarves, boyfriend cardigans, tall boots, boyfriend blazers! the fashion is so flirty and comfy.  I love the scents of Fall! Pumpkin and cinnamon are a definite favorite and add some hazelnut or coffee and it's even more amazing. I love the smell of burning leaves on a cool Friday night and those perfect Saturdays that involve my favorite football teams battling it out on the field. I love Sunday nights with the girls watching Desperate Housewives and Monday night's going to a boys house to watch Monday Night Football.

Have I mentioned that i also just love Halloween? I am obsessed! I always come up with something creative and this year for the first time, I'm out of ideas!! How can this be? Last year I was Plaxico Buress ( Giant's player that shot himself in the leg) which was a big hit with the boys I must say!!hahahahaha!!! If anyone has any ideas I would greatly appreciate it!!

On a different subject, just when you think something is going your way and going right BOOM, Life hits. Why can't life just be easy for once? why can't things work out the way I want? I know that you have to work for what you get in life and nothing just falls in your lap but just this once can't it happen?  I will just put it this way, relationships are not in my favor.......they haven't been for about 3 years now. Just when I got excited about playing again and thought I was dealt a hand I could play on, I looked at the cards and realized the other player is holding all the powerful cards. I let on too soon my hand, needless to say I don't have a good poker face! Let's just say me and my opponent couldn't work out when we play on different tables far away from each other.
Anyway, hope everyone is doing great and can't wait to see the Rolling Stones movie/concert on Thursday night!

Oh, How I'm loving some Life!!

Hello ALL my pretty followers!! It's Sunday night and my last guest just departed from T-Town after another epic weekend! Can I just tell you how much I love my girls and game day weekends? I was super excited for all the girls to be here but I was a little nervous as well. Let me explain, when you place four or five girls in an uncontrollable environment, for example Tuscaloosa on game day, you for the most part get two or three crying girls, one or two lost girls, one Negative Nancy, and hours of insanity. This game day aside from the city of Tuscaloosa busting at the seams with fans, it was extremely fun! This year we had no parking issues thanks to my atty's new house location and the fact the games for the past two weekends have been night games.....my girls and I are NOT morning people!! And my little group of girls have transitioned through the years and I have found myself closest to the girls that are not so desperate of attention.

Here we are on my balcony before the game!

oh yes, yet again I had to wear a dress I wasn't planning on wearing! Ya'll it was soooo hot on Saturday! It was sticky, steamy, humid, and unbearable! We were tailgating on The Quad before the game and with thousands of people under tents and no breeze you could barely breathe. About an hour before the game a rain storm passed through and it was AWFUL!! thankfully a few of the girls and I were walking to visit a boy at another tent and we were walking by a worship center on campus and ducked in while the rain storm passed! Did I mention I cut my open my foot as well? yes, after the game I must have stepped on a broken bottle........warning if you have a weak stomach!

And it looks so much worse than it actually was, I am so happy I had anti-bacterial wipes with me. I am however wishing I had chosen not to keep walking on it and dancing on stage at our favorite game day spot. Can I just tell you that I looked horrible after the game, between sweating from every pore of my body, walking the entire day, having only four hours of sleep the night before ( I went late night swimming Friday night at a boys house who was in town for the weekend and his parents have a house here that has a pool!! :) ) and drinking a lot of drinks can make me look horrible!!! Like I seriously understand why people go home after the game, something I might need to look into!hahaha.......anyway, Friday night can I tell you how cute I looked! I wish we had taken pictures!

Here are some pictures of some recent purchases!!

I also would love to share with my absolute favorite commercial right now! too stinkin cute!!!





I hope everyone had a great weekend and so i told a few of my friends that secret that I was keeping. Yes, the cat is out of the bag! I am not quite ready to let the world know but let's just say my friends couldn't be more happy for me! Everyone that has known me for a while screamed out "IT'S ABOUT TIME"  Trust me, in my own time I will tell you! I'm waiting for some things to develop or certainty before I announce it......and before rumors start.......I'm not engaged or pregger's!

Sometimes you don't need titles

Okay, so ya'll are use to me writing about music. Today I will write about movies, actually one movie in particular.
500 DAYS OF SUMMER

I saw this movie a while back and instantly fell in love with it. It's one of those movies I want to own, like today! This film holds so much truth to break ups and falling in love, and essentially out of love. It's such a masterpiece of indie culture.



This movie has so many good quotes it's unreal!! This movie is not a love story.........it's better because it's real story. (okay a real story for a movie, hahaha)

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Narrator: Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life

 Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real.

 Narrator: As he listened, Tom began to realize that these stories weren't routinely told. These were stories one had to earn. He could feel the wall coming down. He wondered if anyone else had made it this far. Which is why the next six words changed everything.
Summer: I've never told anybody that before.
Tom: I guess I'm not just anybody.

I have 2 favorite scenes in the movie.
    The first is when Summer and Tom are shopping and they are running through the store and they are playing house  in their own little world. I love it for the pure fact that it imitates what real love it. Love is sporadic and crazy and between two people. Nobody else shopping could understand what these two lunatics are doing but Summer and Tom knew, because it was something that was just between them.
    The second scene is where Tom draws on Summers arm, he is teaching her something he is passionate about  and doesn't mind being himself. It is remarkably intimate.

    I've always felt if you try to be romantic then your not a true romantic. Sometimes the most simplest gestures can mean so much more to me than sending flowers, or a nice dinner. I hate it when going out to dinner and a movie is a date......shouldn't it really be about what the two of you want to do. I don't know, I'm a little different than most girls. I would much rather go to a game and cheer on your favorite team than to a movie where we can't even talk. I would much rather go to a record store and check out our favorite music and reminisce of different times in our lives. I literally cringe when I hear  the words from a guy "I want to take you to a nice dinner." I know its pretty dumb, but I would love a mixed cd, it takes more effort on the other person than picking up some flowers from the florist. I get annoyed if the boy has to ask your what your favorite things are........it's called listening to me when I talk. I talk a LOT!!!

anyway that is my two cents for the day, and I strongly urge everyone to see this movie!!! love ya'll

Taking the good with the bad

Okay, I cannot BELIEVE Ole Miss lost the game Saturday, it was heartbreaking to hear!!! With that said, I had one of the BEST football game weekends EVER!!!

The energy was so good here in Tuscaloosa, and the weather was amazing! I had the dress I was planning to wear this weekend altered a few weeks ago and since I am never sure what my weight is from week to week ( yes, I fluctuate a good dress size at times) I dieted all last week. I picked up my dress Friday afternoon and it was too big. Thankfully, I am a girl with a plan and bought a back up one.

After the dress situation was dealt with, the rest of the weekend was smoothe sailing!
A guy came in that I knew from undergrad and stayed with me Friday night, we went out with one of his friends and the guy's girlfriend. We had such fun! The next morning I made sausage balls for breakfast and served them with mimosa's. After getting ready we all headed to a sports bar close to the stadium and then ended up tailgating until the game! During this whole time, nothing dramatic happened that the boys could not solve. On Saturday night, I thought for a moment there might have been drama but after a slight intervention by a better dude, all was taken care of. It's funny how things work out! In fact, I have a secret!! I can't tell ya'll just yet! I'm still trying to process everything and see how everything works out in the next few days.

On a different note, musician guy and I didn't work out! we didn't click. It's fine, some people work out so much better as friends, that's us!

here is a pic of us tailgating!!

 
and here is a pic of us Friday night!!

again, what a fun weekend and Alabama walked away with a win!
Oh while I was extremely bored in class on Friday and so excited about the weekend I wrote this in about 30 min!

Twas the night before game day and all through t-town

there were dreams of good times and many touch downs.

Girls had game day dresses laid out with care

and the smell of chanel and bourbon drifted through the air.

The bars were packed all the way from Gallettes to The Booth

And cars were being towed from behind “The Houndstooth.”

In just a few short hours kick off will begin

And the Crimson Tide will walk away with a WIN!

ROLL TIDE!!!

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!!

Yes, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is just around the Corner! No, I'm not talking about Christmas. I'm talking about FOOTBALL!!!!! Yes, here in the south football season makes everything wonderful!



and of course I could not leave out Ole Miss. Since I could not find a good hype video, I decided to really represent the heart of Ole Miss with a few of my favorite video's





    I will officially start getting my apartment together starting this afternoon for my company. This may be my only post of the week! I have to dust, vacuum, clean dishes, mop the kitchen, clean my bathroom, wash sheets and the list goes on! I also have so many errands to run! I need to stop and get some shakers, some beverages, and a trip to the grocery store! I am also looking for a purse to go with my dress on Saturday, the stadium has new rules about the size of your purse. I hate that I can't carry a big purse, I mean I will have to pack stuff like makeup, a hand held fan, a flask and other items!! I always have way too much on my plate!!! I also have my final fitting on Friday afternoon for the game day dresses I dropped off a few weeks ago! I'm going to die if I have gained weight or something!!

anyway, wish W's for Alabama and Ole Miss!

Give me 5, Friday!

That is Right, give me a high five for making it to Friday! I'm going home for the weekend to see my parents before the Fall Semester officially kicks off next weekend with the first home game.  Oh how I love fall is just around the corner,  football games, visiting friends at other colleges, and the ever so pretty trees. So here are some random 5's from me.

FAVORITE ALBUMS
1. Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road- Elton John
2. Hot Rocks- The Rolling Stones
3. Stop Making Sense/Speaking in tongues- Talking Heads
4. Are you Experienced- The Jimmy Hendrix Experience
5. The White Album- The Beatles

FAVORITE SONGS
 first off, my favorite 5 songs always vary.If you asked me 5 years ago, even 5 months ago it would not be the same as it is at this exact moment. I do however always say the same 2 or three.
The consistent ones are ALWAYS: Satellite, Naive Melody and  Beast of Burden, so here are my favorites....

1. Satellite- Dave Matthews Band
2. Beast of Burden- The Rolling Stones
3. Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place)- The Talking Heads
4. Kashmir- Led Zepplin
5. Layla-Eric Clapton

FAVORITE MOVIES
1. Almost Famous
2. Chevy Chase movies
3. The GodFather
4. Forest Gump
5. Love Story

FAVORITE BOOKS
1. The Count of Monte Cristo
2. Great Expectations
3. Helmet for my Pillow
4. 1984
5. The Great Gatsby

FAVORITE THINGS TO DO
1. Anything that involves sports except golf
2. Lay on my floor, listen to records
3. Dance to my favorite music
4. Travel
5. Anything with my friends or family!

THINGS I'M SCARED OF
1. Whales!!!!
2. Heights
3. I won't find what I'm searching for in life
4. Snakes
5. Going against destiny

THINGS I WANT IN THE NEXT 5 YEARS
1. Sucsessful in my career
2. Travel out of the country
3. Be happy with my choices
4. Be at Peace
5. Own a home, own an amazing car/SUV


On a different topic completely


what is UP with the WHOLE male population? SERIOUSLY.
The EXACT moment I am going out of town or I make plans guys immediately call and want to hang out! This whole entire week I have not heard from ONE guy!!! Last night I get asked out by 3 different guys to do something tonight or Saturday night.

Last weekend I had to refuse offers as well because my amazing mother came to see me. Now partly this IS my fault. During the week I usually am waking up early to attend classes, then work out, eat dinner, finish up homework and get ready for the next day. I rarely do anything that requires me wearing make up during the week. I let people know how busy I am.

I mean the boys could at LEAST send a message if they aren't going to have the balls to call me and just say, "Hey, how are classes?" "Hey, just thought I would see how your week is going?"

I guess I did use the word "BOYS".......I guess that would explain why I'm ranting, I would like a MAN, please!


While I'm on my soap dish, I am beginning to get annoyed by text messages! I thought in the beginning text messages were sent in emergencies, like if your at work and you can't take a call but just need to know something specific and quickly.......now days I'm typing out 3 page conversations about my childhood memories and my favorite Chinese restaurants. ANNOYING!!!!!!



I will always love this video!! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!! And everyone can you believe 5 years ago Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana and Mississippi. Now, they are dealing with the effects of the oil spill. Check out some of the documentaries if you get a chance this weekend! Love ya'll!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR


TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN NOR WRITTEN........

Let me start by saying I'm truly blessed with my life right now. I have a healthy family (as far as I know), I have caring/ supportive parents, amazing friends, a nice apartment, transportation to point A and B, I'm on the down slope as far as school goes and no major Crisis has happened to me lately............at least since moving. My life from every aspect looks good and don't get wrong, I'm thankful but what makes life GOOD to GREAT, like breathtaking moments of life. I keep looking for something I can't live without. I keep shopping for some item I can't stand NOT to have. I still haven't found what I'm looking for in life and I keep waiting and I have even been pro-active in the situation but I am still searching.



I found the song to be appropriate.........  But I keep wondering to myself, am I ever going to be satisfied and at peace with myself. I keep thinking there has got to be a bigger picture to my life, there just has to be. Right? When do these chains that keep holding me back finally break? From day to day I feel trapped, I feel like my life has already been planned out for me, I feel like everyday I'm held by the hands that control me under water and I'm just struggling and fighting with every once to come up for air. When does my life begin? I dread the day I have a 9 to 5 and life becomes so......imitated, so conventional, so like everyone else I know. Did anyone else not have parents that told them there is more to life that just getting married and have kids? Doesn't anyone have an aching, an appetite, a voice in themselves to reach out and just grab onto the next shooting star, to break the rules, to just go completely nuts one day.




On a different note, you like the Queen video? What a genius that Freddie Mercury was. He was interesting, slightly off, and looked good in women s clothing. I will always love Queen, two of my favorite songs is not the obvious, Bohemian Rhapsody or We are the Champions but Under Pressure ( David Bowie collaborated on the song as well) and Somebody to Love!!! 





I just love Mercury's voice, his stage presence, his passion.

You May Ask Yourself, WELL, How Did I Get Here?

Well, I know how I got here to my new apartment! I do know it has taken a LOT of effort and a lot of money to re-decorate and I'm still not through, but here are some pics so far!

This is my room! When you first enter my room, you see my bed. The right of my room has a table (a writing desk transformed) with my NEW record player and baskets underneath for storing my vinyls and etc., above the table is a Van Gogh print.  Also on the same side of the room is my organized closet.  Then on the left side of my room are the rest of the Van Gogh prints and directly across from my bed is my television that sits on my bureau.

Here are some pictures of the spare bedroom that hopefully will be transformed into an ACTUAL bedroom before everyone gets here for football season! In the meantime it is a 'Please pardon our big giant mess room!!'

Here is Bro's room

And here is the living room!

And last but not least my bathroom, this one has a closet ladies and gentlemen!!

I will post pictures of the other closets, dining room and kitchen later when I have time!
What do ya'll think? I can't wait to have the other bedroom complete........Mainly I can't wait to get a bed in there!!

Next, we all know football season is just around the corner  and it's time to wear cute new clothes!! I have been SLACKING on posting what I have bought lately, some of the clothes I may not get around to wearing this season, but it will be fabulous for next year!! I got everything big time on sale or I got extremely good prices!! I also decided to take pictures from now on of all my clothes that I have purchased because it seems I have misplaced some dresses or they have grown legs and walked off. I'm not going into specifics other than I may need to put a lock on my closet and only I know the code to unlock it.

yep, My Mom is the best! and dear ol' dad has bought my EXPENSIVE books for the Fall and is about to help me pay to get some dresses altered! Can you believe I have a BCBG dress with the tags still on it in my closet for almost 2 years because it needs to be altered before I wear it? It is going to make a GREAT game day dress!! If I get one dress taken in before the first game,then I have my first 2 game day dresses planned!! The first one I want to wear might be hard to get altered, keep your fingers crossed that I can!!

So I bet your wondering how that date went with the musician aren't you? well, the scheduled date didn't happen.......he canceled on me. He did however give me a good excuse and made it up to me the very next day by taking me out to lunch. Our lunch lasted for almost 3 hours, we talked the ENTIRE time! We then have been out to the movies, and 'Wine Time' at my place, where we talked the entire time on my balcony.

My Mom came up for a bit this past weekend and helped me purchase most of what you see in the pictures, along with groceries!

I also got an e-mail about Habitat for Humanity and my form has been accepted and I'm on track to pin-pointing a few days to volunteer. I'm kind of nervous because I am the last person you want around nails, saws, and other pointy and sharp, heavy objects. 

Life is GOOD!!!